Princess and the Peas

Meowllo!

Okay, so here's the deal. I really dig this cat food called Weruva, especially the variety called "Chicken Soup". Even though the person who serves it to me hasn't eaten chicken in at least 14,000 years, she likes to say it could pass for real chicken soup, and I guess she should know since she's Mewish and they always say that chicken soup is "Mewish penicillin". I'm not one to agree that she knows much about ANYTHING, but on this point I'll concede that she might not be talking out her ... well, mew know.

Anyway, this food is DOPE (as the kool katz say?). I would say that if mew're going to compare it to a drug, it'd be a lot more potent than penicillin, but I only got through a couple of years of medical school before I realized my true calling, which is, as mew know if mew read my profile, being a PLUS-SIZE MODEL.

So, back to the food. It's the BOMB in addition to being DOPE. Except -- and this is a big except -- it's got all these weird PEAS in it. My roommate is amewsed by them and sometimes says, "Oh, look! How cute! There are real peas in this!" like they're the Eighth or Twelfth Wonder of the World. Like I should be impressed by something that's smaller than a pad on my paw. Please, peas. As if.

Anyway, I DO NOT LIKE PEAS. Mew can try to tell me they're CUTE, mew can try to tell me, "Oh, mew will love this! It's like people food!" but mew cannot fool me. They are peas, and I do not like peas, and I am even offended by the mention of PRINCESS AND THE PEA, because, as we all know, I'm not merely a princess: I am a queen.

And "queen-sized" is an old-fashioned term for "plus-size", so I'm down with that! But peas? No. :-(