Mew Shoe Dork

The other day the lady who lives with me came home with these shoes in her purse. Apparently they do double duty as RAZORBLADES on her feet because she told me she had to take them off a few blocks from our apartment and walk home barefoot! I don't get what the big deal is, since we four-legged types do this all the time and don't think twice about it.

At first I thought the laces/strings/ties/whatever-they-are were RED LICORICE, so I played with it and chewed on it, expecting sweetness. Although I was a bit disappointed, I still found it tasty! She thought it was insanely adorable, so when she went for her camera, I stopped doing it. That didn't stop her from recording the excitement, though. Whatever.

Enjoy! (?)

Mew Shoe Dork from tofuju on Vimeo.

Basket case!

Meowllo!

It's been quite some time, this I meow, but that doesn't mean that I don't make up posts in my head when I have nothing better to mew. I just don't get around to typing them as much I know I should. I know that's no excuse, because I have access not only to the desktop computer but a really nice laptop and a spiffy iPad as well. I suppose I have to just admit it: I'm lazy.

But, mew see, I'd really just prefer to lounge around in my new basket. Do mew like it? The person I live with received it as part of a Valentine's Day gift that her new boyfriend (OMG, he's so cute!!!) gave her, but I knew I could put it to better use than she could and decided to pretend that I thought it was a gift for ME. I waited until the boyfriend went home and then I crept into the basket and settled in. Of course, once she saw how cute I looked, there was no way she would ever be able to use it for something stupid, like storing stockings.

I just have to remember, this is NOT an annex to my litter box!

Is this thing on?

Meowllo!

Is this thing on? *taptaptap*

I apologize for not being around much in the last -- oh my god, almost four months? Really? It's been that long? I can't believe it! Time flies when you're napping about 23 hours a day. Rip Van Winklemew, much? Holy moly!

I have nothing new to report, except I do have ONE little gripe that I have to get off my furry black chest because it's been rankling me for a while and I think some of mew may relate.

Why oh why why WHY does this person-thing I live with insist on meowing back at me when I speak? What IS that? Is that supposed to be cute and/or funny? Or is it condescending, the way I suspect? When I meow by my food bowl, why must she meow back instead of just reaching for the food and giving me what I want? When I look up at her when she's working and meow just to say meowllo, is it really necessary for her to meow back? And it's not even like she meows right anyway. I do NOT sound like that. My meow is like a field of happy daffodils, bright and sunny and fresh. Her imitation is as fresh and lively as plastic flowers.

Thank mew. I feel better meow.

For once, it's not all about me me me (yow)

Meowllo.

I don't have the spirit for my usual exclamation point, so the period at the end of the Meowllo greeting will have to suffice.

I am very sad, and trying to keep myself from crying all day, because the past couple of days one of the cats who is lucky enough to live with my mom's friends Allison, Piglet, and Grover suddenly got sick and has a fever and is in the hospital and it's not looking as good for him as we want, even though we are all praying or sending telepathic good vibes or just thinking really really hard about how much we love Vito -- whichever one suits us! -- and how much we want him to get better. Some of us, like my mom and I, haven't ever even meet the little guy, but we know that if he's hanging around with Allison and Piglet and Grover he's gotta be pretty damned amazing!!!

The only good thing about this is that my mom has been hugging me extra these past couple of days. But I'm too cool to admit that I like this. So, even though I want her to keep doing it, I have to feign disinterest and pretend to struggle out of her arms. I do have a reputation to uphold, mew know what I mean?

PLEASE get better, Vito. We all love mew!!!

Mewsing in Action

Meowllo!

I apologize for not updating my blog for quite some time. I have been very busy being a supermodel and lying around my mom's apartment honing my craft. I have also been busy pretending to be her personal assistant and forgetting to tell her that the price of postage has gone up again and that she needs to buy new pens. I have been spending a fair amount of time out on the back patio, sunning myself the way supermodels do, in preparation for a photo spread that a nice man named Mew Heffner said will bring me the recognition I so richly deserve.

More soon! I promise! Meow!

Rest in beautiful peace, Molly :-(

Meowllo.

I am very sad. My sister/aunt, Molly, who lives with my mom's mom and sister, left this world yesterday. I am incapable of tears, because I am a cat, but that doesn't mean I am not devastated. I hear she was the sweetest, gentlest, loveliest girl around. I miss her even though I never met her.

Sleep sweetly, Molly! You are missed already. :-(

Tomcat Jones!

Meowllo!

I was really mad at my mom yesterday for abandoning me to hang out all day with Piggy and Grover and their mom, Allison. But when I saw this video clip of some of their shenanigans, I was THRILLED to have been left out of the so-called fun. (Allison works the puppet-cat as my mom provide vocal hilarity. Piglet looks like he wishes death on both of them. And can mew blame him???)