Fundraising Websites - Crowdrise

Leche Lip

Meowllo! I have a dash mouth and my sister has a leche lip. Should we join forces and start a law firm just so we can call ourselves "Dashmouth and Lechelip"? (Of course I would get top billing.)

Meowllo!!! I have a new sister. She has been here one week, as of this evening. This photo pretty much speaks for the state of our relationship so far!!!

Meowllo! My mom has a new boyfriend! I have a crush on him. Do NOT tell her. Shhh!

Meowllo! Is there anybody out there? I have a lot on my mind! I've been quiet for way too long! It's time to let meowt again! Exclamation points warranted!

Meowllo! It has been brought to my attention that it's the Mewish New Year. I must confess that I am woefully remiss. I nap through almost every holiday. I sometimes think I should remedy this, but then I think, "Why? Why? WHY?" and go back to sleep.

Nothin' special, really

Meowllo!

I like to start each post with a hearty "Meowllo!" even if I'm not feeling particularly hearty. I realized I did not start my last post that way, and I am feeling a bit out of sorts about that. I know I should "pick my battles" about what I should let get to me and what I should just let slide, but what can I say: I'm mewrotic that way.

I don't have much to say today, really, except that I have been finding great comfort when my roommate sings "Mad World" to me along with a recorded instrumental version she found online. Today she sang it to me twice, and I even stopped licking my paw midstream, I was so mesmerized. I'm not even kidding.

In other mews, she brought home a little mouse a week or so ago, which she found downtown on her way home from the gym. When she brought him in the apartment, I thought it was a special lunch for me, but no, she immediately told me all teary that it wasn't. I cried because I wanted a special lunch but also, if mew must know the truth, I was sad for the little guy. She buried him in the flower box "graveyard", which is also the permanent home for another mouse and two birds.

Enough for meow. It's time to nap. I have a feeling she may be joining me!

Mew Shoe Dork

The other day the lady who lives with me came home with these shoes in her purse. Apparently they do double duty as RAZORBLADES on her feet because she told me she had to take them off a few blocks from our apartment and walk home barefoot! I don't get what the big deal is, since we four-legged types do this all the time and don't think twice about it.

At first I thought the laces/strings/ties/whatever-they-are were RED LICORICE, so I played with it and chewed on it, expecting sweetness. Although I was a bit disappointed, I still found it tasty! She thought it was insanely adorable, so when she went for her camera, I stopped doing it. That didn't stop her from recording the excitement, though. Whatever.

Enjoy! (?)

Mew Shoe Dork from tofuju on Vimeo.

Basket case!

Meowllo!

It's been quite some time, this I meow, but that doesn't mean that I don't make up posts in my head when I have nothing better to mew. I just don't get around to typing them as much I know I should. I know that's no excuse, because I have access not only to the desktop computer but a really nice laptop and a spiffy iPad as well. I suppose I have to just admit it: I'm lazy.

But, mew see, I'd really just prefer to lounge around in my new basket. Do mew like it? The person I live with received it as part of a Valentine's Day gift that her new boyfriend (OMG, he's so cute!!!) gave her, but I knew I could put it to better use than she could and decided to pretend that I thought it was a gift for ME. I waited until the boyfriend went home and then I crept into the basket and settled in. Of course, once she saw how cute I looked, there was no way she would ever be able to use it for something stupid, like storing stockings.

I just have to remember, this is NOT an annex to my litter box!

Is this thing on?

Meowllo!

Is this thing on? *taptaptap*

I apologize for not being around much in the last -- oh my god, almost four months? Really? It's been that long? I can't believe it! Time flies when you're napping about 23 hours a day. Rip Van Winklemew, much? Holy moly!

I have nothing new to report, except I do have ONE little gripe that I have to get off my furry black chest because it's been rankling me for a while and I think some of mew may relate.

Why oh why why WHY does this person-thing I live with insist on meowing back at me when I speak? What IS that? Is that supposed to be cute and/or funny? Or is it condescending, the way I suspect? When I meow by my food bowl, why must she meow back instead of just reaching for the food and giving me what I want? When I look up at her when she's working and meow just to say meowllo, is it really necessary for her to meow back? And it's not even like she meows right anyway. I do NOT sound like that. My meow is like a field of happy daffodils, bright and sunny and fresh. Her imitation is as fresh and lively as plastic flowers.

Thank mew. I feel better meow.

For once, it's not all about me me me (yow)

Meowllo.

I don't have the spirit for my usual exclamation point, so the period at the end of the Meowllo greeting will have to suffice.

I am very sad, and trying to keep myself from crying all day, because the past couple of days one of the cats who is lucky enough to live with my mom's friends Allison, Piglet, and Grover suddenly got sick and has a fever and is in the hospital and it's not looking as good for him as we want, even though we are all praying or sending telepathic good vibes or just thinking really really hard about how much we love Vito -- whichever one suits us! -- and how much we want him to get better. Some of us, like my mom and I, haven't ever even meet the little guy, but we know that if he's hanging around with Allison and Piglet and Grover he's gotta be pretty damned amazing!!!

The only good thing about this is that my mom has been hugging me extra these past couple of days. But I'm too cool to admit that I like this. So, even though I want her to keep doing it, I have to feign disinterest and pretend to struggle out of her arms. I do have a reputation to uphold, mew know what I mean?

PLEASE get better, Vito. We all love mew!!!

Mewsing in Action

Meowllo!

I apologize for not updating my blog for quite some time. I have been very busy being a supermodel and lying around my mom's apartment honing my craft. I have also been busy pretending to be her personal assistant and forgetting to tell her that the price of postage has gone up again and that she needs to buy new pens. I have been spending a fair amount of time out on the back patio, sunning myself the way supermodels do, in preparation for a photo spread that a nice man named Mew Heffner said will bring me the recognition I so richly deserve.

More soon! I promise! Meow!

Rest in beautiful peace, Molly :-(

Meowllo.

I am very sad. My sister/aunt, Molly, who lives with my mom's mom and sister, left this world yesterday. I am incapable of tears, because I am a cat, but that doesn't mean I am not devastated. I hear she was the sweetest, gentlest, loveliest girl around. I miss her even though I never met her.

Sleep sweetly, Molly! You are missed already. :-(

Tomcat Jones!

Meowllo!

I was really mad at my mom yesterday for abandoning me to hang out all day with Piggy and Grover and their mom, Allison. But when I saw this video clip of some of their shenanigans, I was THRILLED to have been left out of the so-called fun. (Allison works the puppet-cat as my mom provide vocal hilarity. Piglet looks like he wishes death on both of them. And can mew blame him???)

Mewterial Girl

Meowllo!

Contrary to what mew might think, I am not a mewterial girl. I don't ask for much. However, I am not a complete traitor to catdom, in that I am very picky about the few things that I do ask for, such as food (no peas, please, as I have documented before) and where I don't appreciate being touched (don't fiddle with my paws!), and how long I will allow mew to hold me when mew're standing (no more than 24 seconds). Also, I have the glower and glare down pat, and I excel at being not only aloof but actually turning my back toward mew to demonstrate that I am actively ignoring mew.

But when I saw the item pictured here, while doing some research on the internet this morning, I almost got as excited as a dog does when mew just look his way. Here is the description from Target's website:

Inspired by an old-fashioned gumball machine, the Kitty Kitchen Food and Treat Dispenser invites your cat to help herself to a tasty reward. Made with a turn-wheel that can be easily spun with the touch of a paw, the sturdy design is simple for most cats to learn to use. (A diploma is included for when your cat masters this trick.) Place on a countertop for a whimsical addition to your kitchen or pantry. Dispenser is red, black and gray, with colorful fabric accents on the turn-wheel.

Although I am deeply in love with this thing, I do not appreciate that Target thinks there are some of us who wouldn't be able to learn to use it. We are cats, after all. I will be happy to receive my diploma, though.

What I can't figure out, though, is how to get my mom to get this for me (she's going to Target on Saturday!) without actually asking for it. Any advice???

Redemption!

Meowllo!

The good mews is that we don't think my mom has swine flu. We know that swine flu, like all other diseases, is nothing to laugh about, but given that my mom has, over the years, thought she was stricken with everything from polio to prostate cancer, we have to laugh when she finds herself thinking she may have whatever the latest disease is making headlines.

Oddly enough, she never thought she had SARS. Go figure.

So, anyway, she just got back from the store with a new box of litter for me, and she redeemed 45 Paw Points over at the Fresh Step website. So far, she's accrued 590 points, which is almost enough to get me a bed that I would never use. She says she's not going to redeem them until she has enough to buy me my own brownstone here on the Upper West Side.

I just hope she doesn't contract taxoplasmosis before that.

Nothing much :-(

Meowllo!

Nothing much going on around here, I'm afraid(y cat). My mom's been sick since Mewsday morning and hasn't left the house at all -- not even to go to the gym, which for her is a big deal. She says she feels like something out of my litter box, and I'm trying not to be offended.

We've been taking lots of naps, but I've gotta say it's a LOT cuter when I do it. I mean, mew don't see ME drooling on the pillowcases, do mew? Absolutely not. Disgusting.

Slouching is Sexy

Meowllo!

If mewr mom is anything like mine, she's probably telling mew at least half a dozen times a day to sit up straight and to wipe that scowl off mewr face. She's probably also guzzling Diet Coke or coffee like there's no tomorrow and crying over TV commercials that feature dogs (the nerve!) or laughing like an absolute idiot for no reason. If mew are anything like me -- and I KNOW mew are! -- mew want to tell her to leave mew alone and let mew do what mew do best, which is slouch and glower.

As mew can see, I have mastered the art form.

What's it all about, Meowfie?

Meowllo!

I'm meowing quite a bit these days, but I have no idea why. My roommate gives me plenty of attention, as does this man-person-thing who visits and stays overnight and whose various bags I pay great tribute to by honoring them with maniacal pawing almost immediately upon his entry. I like the food she gives me. She keeps my litter box clean. She encourages me to acquaint myself with cockroaches and lets me see for myself that it's raining on the patio by opening the door. And not only does she leave the bathroom door open a little so I can lounge by the tub, but she calls that room my "den". So, what's my problem? Why am I such an ingrate?

Or am I trying to tell her something else when I look up at her and meow out of the blue?

What do you mew think? Should I just shut up? Or should I see a purr-apist?

Nine Years!

Meowllo!

This person I live with just looked down at me and started jabbering some mumbo-jumbo in a singsong voice that makes her sound like one of those "cat mommies" she swore she would never become. I was busy pivoting on my shapely bottom, delicately licking the sleek black fur of my right paw (the one I write with, but, oddly enough, not the one I shuffle cards or brush my teeth with), minding my own business, daydreaming about this weekend, when she'll be away for a few days and I'll have the whole palace (no, that's not a typo -- I mean palace, not just "place") to myself, and she started reaching down as if to rub my stomach a/k/a cause me to lose my balance and topple over like a Weeble that has finally fallen down. It took me a few seconds to decipher her prattle.

It was this: HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, SHANA! HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!

Nine whole years? One for each of the lives I'm supposed to have? Wow!

And then I realized, well, this is all very well and good, but ... where's my cake? Where's the brouhaha and hullaballoo? Where's the mahi-mahi?

It's an anniversary, sure, but I'm not too happy!

MEOWMEOW!!!